That was how I greeted my girls early that morning. (Well, except for when I accidentally blurted out, "Happy Birthday!" to my middle child.)
Outwardly, I was very cheerful and peppy. And I actually was feeling cheerful and peppy! I was excited for my girls who were starting 2nd, 6th, and 8th grade.
On the other hand, I was also heartbroken; because I was no longer going to school with them like I've always done their entire school lives. It was a stark reminder that I am no longer a teacher.
I still don't regret my choice to leave. My time as a teacher has ended. I am at peace with that.
This Labor Day weekend, I felt incredibly relieved that I didn't have to go through all the stressful preparations teachers usually go through the weeks prior to and during the first days of school, getting the classroom ready and preparing lessons and materials.
For the first time in my daughters' entire lives, I was able to devote my complete attention to them and to their back-to-school preparations. I was able to completely relax with them and enjoy the unofficial last days of summer - stress-free! We had fun at the beach, spent some trampoline-jumping time at Sky High, and even baked and decorated back-to-school cupcakes (after they made their veggie-laden healthy school lunches, of course!).
Prior to this year, the weeks before school started were always a highly stressful time for me. I would almost always be preoccupied with and overwhelmed by a long to-do list. Not so this year.
But I have to admit, I did miss getting my classroom ready and preparing all the activities for the first weeks of school.
Prior to this year, the weeks before school started were always a highly stressful time for me. I would almost always be preoccupied with and overwhelmed by a long to-do list. Not so this year.
But I have to admit, I did miss getting my classroom ready and preparing all the activities for the first weeks of school.
And on that first day of school, it felt strange driving up to school, knowing that only my girls were going in. I was now an outsider. I was now "just a parent," no longer a staff member of the school I had been a part of for 17 years! I was no longer going to be able to work with the children that had grown up before my eyes.
Despite the sadness I felt, I remained outwardly cheerful. Maybe a little too much. My tween and teen were pretty embarrassed when I enthusiastically and loudly yelled, "Happy 1st day of school!!!" out the car window to a group of former 6th grade students.
Good thing my 2nd grader was more tolerant, because I continued with my "Happy 1st day of school!" greetings as we waited in the playground for the back-to-school parade to start.
Former Kindergarten students of mine came up to me and showered me with hugs. Again, I was struck by the reality and sadness of no longer being a teacher at this school!
I know I'm still in the early stage of grief and that eventually the pain will ease as time goes on.
This break-up just needs some getting used to. After all, this relationship lasted almost two decades! A lot of history and a lot of love involved.
Lucky for me, I have a very supportive and caring husband who was able to distract me from my grief by taking me on a date immediately after we dropped our girls off at school.
Despite the sadness I felt, I remained outwardly cheerful. Maybe a little too much. My tween and teen were pretty embarrassed when I enthusiastically and loudly yelled, "Happy 1st day of school!!!" out the car window to a group of former 6th grade students.
Good thing my 2nd grader was more tolerant, because I continued with my "Happy 1st day of school!" greetings as we waited in the playground for the back-to-school parade to start.
Former Kindergarten students of mine came up to me and showered me with hugs. Again, I was struck by the reality and sadness of no longer being a teacher at this school!
I know I'm still in the early stage of grief and that eventually the pain will ease as time goes on.
This break-up just needs some getting used to. After all, this relationship lasted almost two decades! A lot of history and a lot of love involved.
Lucky for me, I have a very supportive and caring husband who was able to distract me from my grief by taking me on a date immediately after we dropped our girls off at school.
We went for a long walk by the lake and then feasted on crepes on the beach. Nutella, strawberries, and pecans... Comfort foods with my best friend! Just what I needed.
Around midday, I discovered that a former colleague had sent me a message. It reassured me that my girls would be okay at school even though I would no longer be with them. And it also commended me for my courage and bravery for recognizing that I was in a situation that was no longer healthy for me. It ended with, "Be at peace, my friend, and may your journey forward be filled with purpose and a renewed sense of self." I tried to read it out loud to my husband but was too choked up to finish. It made me cry, but it was just what I needed to hear.
Later that afternoon, I attended a 2-hour workshop with acclaimed career coach and author Steven Steinfeld at the Harold Washington Library. He imparted valuable advice and tips on how to have a successful job search. That workshop was empowering for me. It helped me realize what I needed to do next and gave me a renewed sense of purpose. Again, just what I needed.
So, yes, I survived my first day of school away from school! It was painful, but I survived because of the wonderful, helpful people that God put on this Earth. I am incredibly grateful.
Around midday, I discovered that a former colleague had sent me a message. It reassured me that my girls would be okay at school even though I would no longer be with them. And it also commended me for my courage and bravery for recognizing that I was in a situation that was no longer healthy for me. It ended with, "Be at peace, my friend, and may your journey forward be filled with purpose and a renewed sense of self." I tried to read it out loud to my husband but was too choked up to finish. It made me cry, but it was just what I needed to hear.
Later that afternoon, I attended a 2-hour workshop with acclaimed career coach and author Steven Steinfeld at the Harold Washington Library. He imparted valuable advice and tips on how to have a successful job search. That workshop was empowering for me. It helped me realize what I needed to do next and gave me a renewed sense of purpose. Again, just what I needed.
So, yes, I survived my first day of school away from school! It was painful, but I survived because of the wonderful, helpful people that God put on this Earth. I am incredibly grateful.
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