Rediscovering My Voice

Ever since I was little, I was known as the shy one.

When my family moved to America from the Philippines, I was a timid 12-year-old girl.  On my first day at my new school, I - a 6th grader - clung fearfully to my mom like a Kindergartener not quite ready for school yet. 


Fortunately for me, I was rescued by a kindhearted girl who offered me the empty chair by her and who took the lead in acclimating me to my new school and the new culture.  With her help, I became a little more confident in my own skin and eventually emerged from my shell and made new friends. 

Despite my newfound confidence and friends, some of the shyness and timidity managed to cling to me throughout my school years.  And although I wasn't painfully shy anymore, in class I still was not very outspoken.  I managed to excel in school, though, even despite not being very vocal.  What I discovered early on was that I could express myself effectively through my writing.
 
Writing became my salvation.  Here was a way I could express my ideas!  Writing had given me a voice!


As a child, I dreamed of becoming a writer when I grew up.  But like so many others, as I grew older I subconsciously started to believe that I could not realistically choose writing as a career.  So I became a teacher instead.  Fortunately for me, working with young children suited me.  I found teaching fun and enjoyable and enormously rewarding.  At least for a while.


Fast forward to 2016.  By this time, I had been married for almost seventeen years and had become a mother to three precious daughters ages 7, 11, and 13.  My personal life had been very fulfilling with my supportive husband and amazing daughters.  But my career had become a disappointment. 

After 17 years of being a Chicago Public Schools teacher, CPS no longer felt stable for me.  I was feeling insecure with threats of budget cuts, layoffs, and/or strikes.  In addition, I was emotionally drained from the stresses and demands of teaching.  I decided that it was time for me to resign.


It was a very emotional decision for me.  It pained me to leave my students and the school community that I had been a part of for almost two decades.  I was fearful of the uncertainty of my future and I was very worried about the impact my decision would have on my family.


And yet once I resigned, I felt as though a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. 
Since then, I have been meditating and reflecting about what I want to do next.  I realize that I will always value the joys of teaching and learning; I will always be an educator at heart.  However, I am not quite ready to return to the classroom.  Instead, I would like to work in a museum; it's a different setting, but it's teaching and learning nonetheless.


I have also decided to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. 


I'm starting with this blog.  My goal is to test the waters and see what kind of responses I get back from you the audience.  It's been a while since I've written much, so my writing skills are a little rusty. But I have an open mind and a willingness to learn and practice and grow.  So if you have any advice, please comment below.  Constructive criticisms are welcome, but please also remember to be kind.  Thank you! 

This is me and Tina in our grade school days and 20-some years later.  I am blessed and truly grateful for this wonderful friend.