This Will Be My Year of Selective YESes and NOs

 Last night, I started to read this book called Not Working by DW Gibson which is a collection of stories about unemployed people finding their way in today's changing economy.  I thought maybe it could help prepare me for my journey of finding a new job.


Reading just the first chapter, though, was depressing! It made me anxious about where I was headed and all these negative what-ifs started popping up in my head.


I put the book aside and looked for a different book in my library bag.


Another book caught my eye.  It was a book written by Shonda Rhimes called Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person.


It sounded more uplifting than the first book, so I started to read that instead.


Shonda Rhimes, if you didn't know already, is a successful Hollywood writer.  She's the one who created the TV shows Grey's Anatomy and Scandal and she's executive producer of How to Get Away with Murder.


What you may not know is that she is a huge introvert who experienced panic attacks prior to press interviews or media appearances.  So she always tried to avoid any kind of publicity.


One day, her sister muttered six words to her: "You never say yes to anything."  Those words became Shonda's wake-up call and personal challenge.


Shonda decided to commit to a year of saying yes - especially to terrifying things like public speaking.  She started going to more publicity events. She even agreed to give a commencement address in front of thousands of graduates and their families!


This book really resonated with me.  For one, I myself am a gigantic introvert and I can totally relate to her terror.  Two, I feel like I myself unknowingly committed to a year of yes when I decided to resign from my job about 3 months ago.


Although, now as I write this and reflect a little bit more about what has happened and where I want my journey to take me, I think I've got a clearer picture.


I've decided that this year will be my year of selective yeses and nos.


I will say yes and be more brave about my choices in life.  I will say yes to things that I normally would shy away from.  I will say yes to going outside of my comfort zone and challenging myself.


But I don't want to say yes to just anything and everything.


Last week, I read another book called Spark Joy by Marie Kondo.  Kondo suggests getting rid of anything that doesn't give you joy. 


I really like that idea, but it seems to be counteractive to saying yes - especially about saying yes to challenging or terrifying things.  Doesn't it?


Well, that's why I'm saying it's going to be my year of selective yeses or nos.  Just because something is terrifying or challenging doesn't mean it won't bring me joy later.  And I think I now have a good idea of what I want and what I need, as well as what I don't want and don't need.


So... I will say no to things that bring me down.  I will say no to people who disrespect me and/or others.  I will say no to clutter in my home (except for the artistic stuff my children derive joy from).  I will say no to trash in my neighborhood.  I will say no to stressful things and unnecessary things.  I will say no to things and people and activities that do not bring me joy.


Yes to all that brings me joy, no to those that don't!


I realize now that this is my opportunity to steer my life in the direction I want it to go.  I still don't know exactly where that destination is, but now I know which stops I want to take and which I will pass up.  I'm sure I'll bump into some obstacles along the way and I'll probably experience some storms, but hey as long as they don't kill me, I'll be alright!


Life is short; I say yes to enjoying it as much as I can and I say no to all unnecessary unhappiness.