Trusting The Big Boss

Twenty-some years ago, my husband Larry (who was still my boyfriend back then) got really sick.  It was pretty bad; he was coughing up blood and lost a lot of weight.  He was already living on his own at that time (his parents were in the Philippines), so he had to support himself.  But he was so sick that he couldn't go to work.  It was a very scary time for him.  Not only was he concerned about his health, but he was also worried about his job.

As horrible as that situation may sound, something very important actually came out of that ordeal.  One day while we were at mass, we noticed a quote on the front cover of the church bulletin.  It said, "Fear is useless; trust is needed."

It was as if God had sent us a personal message.  And it made such a difference.  It gave us hope, strength, and courage to face the obstacles laid out before us.

To this day, Larry still has that front cover.   It is a message that we both have taken to heart.

It is a message that I cling to now, in my current situation. 

Being a career-changer in limbo without a job yet is not an ideal situation.  Adding a family, mortgage, and bills to that equation makes it even more worrisome. 


But I'm not scared.  Well, okay, I am a little bit scared, but not a whole lot.  I know things will be alright.  Things may not be progressing as quickly as I would like, but I know I will find that new career that I'm seeking.  I'm trusting The Big Boss Up Above.

Someone recently asked me if  I regret resigning from my job.  No, not at all.  Sure, there are aspects of it that I will miss and there already have been many times during these couple of months that I had bouts of nostalgia which sent daggers to my heart.  But no, I do not regret resigning.  It was time for me to go.  That was the right choice for me.  And I think that it was probably one of the best things I have done for myself, because I truly listened to myself, and gave myself the freedom and respect I deserve.

Some people might say, "Well, what about your family, though?"

It's true that my decision impacted - and is still impacting - my family. Aside from the loss of income, there are many changes that inconvenience and affect them  - our routines, our way of life, our future have been altered.

Fortunately, my family has been supportive of my decision.  I think they understand that my personal happiness was at stake.  They know if I'm not happy, no one else would be, either! No... just kidding!

Well, actually, it's sort of true.  I would be able to serve my family a lot better if I myself am happy and fulfilled. 

We all need to love ourselves first in order to be able to care for others well, right?

So, yes, I took a leap of faith in order to be true to myself.  Yes, the future is uncertain.  Yes, it is scary.  But it's not that scary.

Last month we were in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.  There's a lift there that takes people up to a lookout point where you get a gorgeous view of the Great Smokey Mountains.  Most of us wanted to ride it.  My 11-year-old wanted to, but her fear of heights was holding her back.

I told her that we weren't going to force her to go; she could stay with her grandma.  She was so torn, though, between wanting to go and being scared that she was reduced to tears.  In the end, she chose to go on the ride, still in tears as she climbed aboard.

But guess what?  Midway through the ride, she was enjoying the view.  

When we reached the lookout point, my brave daughter posed for a photo with the gorgeous scenery in the background in a celebratory pose - knowing she was able to do this, because she had conquered her fear of heights!

Imagine if all of us did that in our daily lives.  

What obstacles do you still need to overcome to achieve your full potential?

Sometimes we just have to push through our fears, get on that ride that Life offers us, and trust that The Big Boss Up Above will take care of us.